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Victim to Survivor


Trauma causes us to be stereotyped as victims. The trauma doesn’t matter just that it was traumatic and from that point forward, we’re victims. We do not have to stay victims though. We can take back our power and go from victim to survivor. It’s not an easy process but it is worth it.

I hate being categorized as a victim. It makes it sound like we are what happened to us instead of being what we are because of what happened. We are not this one moment in our lives. We are so much more. We have so much to offer not only ourselves but others as well. We can use our trauma to bring awareness and offer healing to those going through the same thing. I am not a victim but a survivor.

So how do you change that status? You start within. You have to stop identifying yourself as a victim. You have to let go of the anger and the hurt. You have to forgive. It is only when you do this that you become a survivor. When we continue to identify ourselves as victims we are letting the thing or person who hurt us to continue to have control and relevance in our lives. In order to take back control and be in charge of our lives, we have to start loving ourselves. We can’t do this if we continue using “victim” as a character trait.

One of the things that helped me do this is starting each day with the affirmation “I am a survivor”. It may sound weird at first but the more you tell yourself and the universe that you are a survivor, the more you and the universe will see and believe it. When I started doing affirmations, I was in a really low point, but gradually I started changing my outlook on this life I am blessed to live. The more we hear something the more it becomes our right hand. We believe what we are told repeatedly. Why not make that something as fierce as being a survivor?

The next thing you can do and I strongly suggest doing it, is joining Facebook groups for survivors of your trauma. When you are surrounded by others who have experienced what you have, who have overcame the stigma and hurt, it helps you. It allows you to be free and open about this moment and it allows you to get it all out. Speaking about what you went through and how you handled it helps your healing process and more than likely will help others who are struggling.

The last and final thing is to forgive. This is probably the hardest part of your journey. It’s also the most liberating thing as well. You forgive whatever or whoever it was that hurt you. If you were in a wreck with a drunk driver and went through months of rehab or worse, you forgive them and pray for them. If you were sexually assaulted, like me, you forgive your attacker. It doesn’t matter what trauma you were dealt, forgiveness is a must; even if you are the one that needs to be forgiven by yourself. Now, you don’t have to do this overnight or all at once. You would not be able to anyway. You will forgive multiple times a day or even an hour. Eventually it will become second nature to forgive and let go. You will never forget due to the scars that you carry, physical, emotional or both but you can forgive.

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